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Dating as a queer woman in India is a betch

Be it judgment someone who matches your frequency; handling those nosy neighborhood aunties; or even telling your mom about the person you keep talking to on the phone–dating is a difficult work. When I came out of the closet and decided that there was no going back for me, I really thought it’d be easy to find love and companionship. Sure, I wasn’t going to be able to tell that straight girl in my class that I’ve had the biggest ever crush on her; but I was hopeful that I’d find more women like me.

Actually, I had no thought that such a circle even existed until I decided to try online dating. The first website that I signed up for, and let me tell you I have tried quite a handful of them, was Occupied. Occupied is one the straightest dating forums you will ever come across. Still, I hoped to find at least a few friends who fell on the rainbow spectrum, if not love.The world of online dating can be really tricky, especially for a newly-out queer person. There are so many men, of course heterosexual, who pretend to be a woman just so that they can catfish the newbie’s. 

You see the problem with straddling the world of romance for the first time–gay or otherwise–is the naiveté that comes along with it. Yes, I was naive, so I often ended up talking to the men behind the fake profiles only to have my heart broken.

Since clearly I wasn’t having any luck online, I decided to wait for the Delhi Queer Pride Parade and the plethora of LGBT events that happen periodically in the city. I made a few friends there, but love still eluded me. After what seems like ages, I met my now ex partner on Occupied. Although that relationship didn’t work out like I thought it would, it still gave me hope that all might not be lost when it comes to online d

Then I entered the age of Tinder. Even though I wasn’t sold on the idea of judging someone by their bio and a few pictures, I still gave it a shot. After a lot swiping left and right–and being thoroughly confused about the whole concept of swiping–I ended up talking to a few very nice women. They were women for sure this tie-On, did I mention that I am socially awkward? It doesn’t mix well with dating–in real life or online. So, my Tinder escapades never went beyond a few “Hi there” and “What’s up” conversations.

The thing is my social awkwardness isn’t the only hurdle between me and the cupid’s arrow. It’s also about how small the pool of potential partners is for me. Firstly, there aren’t many openly gay women out there, and I’m definitely not ready to date someone who is closeted–I don’t think I’d be able to handle that kind of a pressure or be someone’s secret.

Secondly, most of the women who are out are either too young or too old. I’m not trying to say that it’s absolutely a deal breaker or that age matters that much to me–after all it’s just a number. But it’s striking an emotional and intellectual chord that poses a challenge.The third, and the most disconcerting problem is, how utterly incestuous the circle appears to me. Imagine all the people you know, including those you are interested in. Now, factor in the fact that each one of them have either dated or has had some kind of a history with the others. 

To be honest, I can’t deal with that kind of baggage.Even if you take away all these problems, and visualize an idyllic world where I end up meeting openly-gay women of my age and intellect, with absolutely no history with my friends or ex-partners–you can’t ignore the homophobic society we live in. The thing is in a society that criminalize love and sexuality, and where it’s tough being a woman–let alone queer–finding love or even a date is a far cry.

Yet, I am confident. I am hopeful I will find someone. Or maybe, just muster up the courage to tell my crush how I feel about her! I have my fingers cross.

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Kenya West’s Sneaker teamwork by Adidas almost Went in a completely dissimilar Direction


Kenya West is now with no a doubt a leading figure in the music manufacturing. Mr. West still once supposed that he’s 50 percent more influential than Stanley Rubric or Pablo Picasso or any additional big person’s name out present. This is an attractive bold declaration, but at what time it comes to the sneaker industry, his influence is unquestionable. Famous rapper certainly knows a thing or two about creation sneakers.

Kenya’s aims have forever been broader than just music. Remember his collar with Nike Air and their creation of Yes 1? That was the beginning of Kenya’s path as sneaker fashionable. Far back in 2004, Kenya dropped The College Dropout, the debut album that would be a precursor to a decade of dominance from the Chicago rapper. Yes, he was already known thanks to his stray mix tapes and production credits, but it was Dropout that introduced Kenya the character; the multifaceted musician who was equally brilliant and boisterous.


The sneaker world was the primary one who felt his “splendor.” Kenya West x Nike Air 180 was free to commemorate the success of his seriously acclaimed first book. The sneakers were only available to friends and family in a size 12. Although the shoes are claimed to be made exclusively for the star and some member of the family, a few sample have popped up on eBay over the years.


What makes this year so special is Kenya’s collar with Adidas… all right, you heard me right! Kenya West’s yes increase sneakers are all the rage these days. However, what some people might not know is that ‘Yen’s work with the Three Stripes started a decade ago. Back in 2006, long before the Nike Air Yeasty 1 was in the works, Kenya had a meeting with representatives from the company that could’ve resulted in sneaker collaboration a lot different from what we’re used to seeing from him today. Adidas consultant and former Entertainment Division lead Gary Aspen says that Kenya’s first collaboration could’ve been on the Rod Laver Vintage tennis shoe.

kanye wests


You have to have the similar opinion; this neckline sounds like hell, and we are glad that Kane had nearly a decade of practice before settling into such a productive collaboration with the Three Stripes. It’s hard to tell if they would still be working jointly today after ten years considering what went down at Nike.   It’s possible he’d have already moved on. Which would be a real bummer, because, damn, he makes some eluvia shoes?

What’s depressing about all this collar thing is that ‘Yes’ trainers haven’t paid off? Adidas reportedly paid Kenya West $10m to collaborate on the limited-edition, but the deal doesn’t seem to do the trick. The Yeasty line was originally intended to boost sales in the US, where it has been steadily losing ground to Nike and newer rival Under Amour. The Kenya collection has generated huge hype, but it didn’t appear to get together the prospect.

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How to build your chest without a gym


If you think building a colossal chest is only possible with gym-based labor, you’re wrong.

“You only need two things for growth: mechanical tension and volume,” says Ryan Hopkins, certified advanced sports performance coach (USAW) and personal training manager of SoHo Strength Lab.

These exercises and workouts only utilize bodyweight and free weights, but don’t underestimate them; you will grow using these. They’re variations on pushups and the chest press—two incredible pec builders.

“Because of the lack of big resistance, these exercises place mechanical stress on your chest tissue in those range of motions you typically get with machines,” Hopkins explains. “You also do isometric holds, which by nature require a lot of tension to maintain and move in and out of with speed.”

The Workouts

*The exercises indicated in each workout are explained in the following slides. Click through for instructions.

Prescription: Don’t take any rest between reps, but take anywhere from 45 to 75 seconds rest between sets on all exercises.

Focus: Upper Chest 
Day 1 (Monday)

Hindu Pushup 4 x 6
Seated 1½ Dumbbell Overhead Press 4 x 6
Decline Pushup 4 x 8
Seated Dumbbell Overhead Press 3 x 12
Modified Pushup 21’s 1 x using 7sec holds

Focus: Full Chest
Day 2 (Friday)

Tempo Pushup 4 x 6
1½ Dumbbell Floor Press with Tempo 5 x 5
3 Pause Pushup 3 x 6, 5, 4
Alternating Single Arm Dumbbell Floor Press + Bilateral Press 3 x 5
Defranco Pushup 2 x 12

*Hindu Pushup

From a traditional pushup position, bring your butt back and up, walking your hands and feet closer until you’re in downward dog position. Keep a slight bend in your knees if you can’t extend them straight. Maintaining this steep, inverted V descend down so your head is pointed toward the floor; then, in one fluid motion, drop your hips and continue diving toward the floor (as if you would scrap your torso against the ground) until your head is just beyond your shoulders. Curve your back and look up toward the sky, pushing up through your arms as you sink into a cobra pose keeping your hips off the ground. Come back into downward dog to continue the next rep. Here’s a video demonstration.

*Seated Dumbbell Overhead Press [and 1 1/2]

Sitting upright in a chair, press both dumbbells up in a straight line and lower them back down to the starting position—maintaining control throughout the movement. “Yes, this is a traditional exercise, but it hits the clavicular head (upper chest) of your pec really well in a neutral grip where most chest exercises work on the lower, bigger sternal head of the pec,” Hopkins says.

Want to up the challenge? You can use a 1½ rep for maximal upper chest stimulation. Press both dumbbells halfway up, slowly lower them back down. Then, press them all the way back up quickly. That’s one rep.

*Decline Pushup

Place your feet on a small elevated surface 6 inches to 1 foot above the ground. Keep your trunk tight and stiff so your hips don’t sag and negate the decline position as you perform the pushup. “Most people think they’re holding the position, but by the end of the set, their hips are so far down that they might as well be doing a traditional pushup,” Hopkins says. You need to employ your stabilizing muscles to maintain the straight line of the plank.

*Pushup Modified 21’s

Start from the bottom phase of a pushup. Perform 7 reps from the bottom to the middle position. On the 7th rep, don’t descend again. Hold the middle position for 7 seconds. After, slowly descend to the bottom phase and pump out another 7 full reps. “Make sure you hold a tight plank position throughout,” Hopkins says.

*Tempo Pushup

Perform a traditional pushup, only time the movement so it takes 4 seconds to lower on the down phase before slowly pushing up.

*1½ Dumbbell Floor Press with a Tempo

Lie on your back with a dumbbell in each hand, arms extended. Slowly lower them down until both elbows touch the floor. Using the same slow motion, press the weights halfway back up. Slowly lower them down, and then press all the way back up quickly. Thats 1 rep. “Don’t rest or relax at any point,” Hopkins advises.

*Three-Pause Pushup

Descend all the way down into a traditional pushup so your body is roughly an inch from touching the floor. Pause for 2 seconds. Push up halfway and hold for 2 seconds. Then, push up to just short of the locked out top position and hold for 2 more seconds. DO NOT straighten your arms out all the way. Instead, descend to the bottom position. “Make sure there’s no movement during the pauses,” Hopkins stresses.

*Alternating Single Arm Dumbbell Floor Press + Bilateral Press

Lie on your back with a dumbbell in each hand. Press both to the top phase of the move, then lower one down until that elbow hits the floor. Press the dumbbell back to the top, then lower the other elbow to the floor. Press that weight back up, then lower and press both. Thats 1 rep.

*DeFranco Pushup

“This move was made popular by strength and conditioning coach Joe DeFranco,” Hopkins says.

Start at the top phase of a pushup. Use your back muscles to “pull” yourself down to the floor. When you push back up, isometrically (so nothing actually moves) squeeze your hands towards one another creating tension in your chest. “DO NOT forget the squeeze at the top,” Hopkins stresses. “It makes all the difference.”