Whether you’re shy or not can be due to a few different factors. No matter what they are, shyness can be annoying and debilitating. Those who are shy have trouble in many different aspects of their life. Is it possible to learn how to not be shy?
This leads to shy people wanting to change their shyness. They want to get rid of that behavior and finally come out of their shell to reap the benefits of being an outgoing, friendly person.
What makes someone shy?
As mentioned, shyness can be caused by several things. Your upbringing affects how you interact with other people because if you weren’t socialized well as a young child, it becomes harder for you as you grow. You may also just be genetically shyer than other people.
But the main reason people are shy is a fear of rejection and judgment. Those two things lead someone to stay quiet and avoid interacting with people because they don’t want to embarrass themselves or be rejected in any way. ]
How to not be shy
It’s not easy to go against what you are naturally and become an outgoing person when you’re normally very shy. It takes time, dedication, and practice to get there. But you can do it!
If you want to know how to not be shy and come out of your shell to meet that special someone, make more friends, or do better at school or work, here are the best ways to finally do just that.
#1 Work on your confidence. The main difference between shy and outgoing people has 90% to do with their confidence. If you’re a shy person, you probably also have self-esteem issues you should work on.
By establishing your biggest concern about who you are or what you look like, you’ll be able to make it better and start feeling more confident. You can also hit the gym, the spa, and just do little things that make you feel better as a person.
#2 Realize the difference when you’re with friends. You’re probably not shy around your friends, right? They most likely wouldn’t categorize you as a shy person when you’re goofing around and being yourself with them. So, what’s the difference?
The next time you’re around your friends, pinpoint what makes you feel less shy around them as opposed to someone new. Learning the difference helps you harness your outgoing side around new people.
#3 Smile at strangers. This may sound like a silly thing to do to stop being shy. It has the potential to get rid of that shyness. Just smile at a stranger whenever possible. It doesn’t require you to talk or anything, yet you put yourself out there to be noticed by someone. That’s the first step.
#4 Go out as much as you can. Being around more and more people helps you to not be shy. The more you go out in an environment to meet new people, the more you’ll get used to it. It will no longer be something that’s intimidating to you.
#5 Practice what you’ll say. If you’re shy because you never know what to say to people you don’t know, then just practice! Get in front of a mirror and go over phrases to use when speaking with someone. It helps you if you’re someone whose brain freezes around new people.
#6 Shut down negative thoughts. Negative thoughts debilitate us and make us feel even worse about ourselves. Shy people tend to start a cycle of self-abusive thoughts whenever they’re in a public setting – which makes them shy.
When you notice this starts, shut down those thoughts and replace them with something positive about yourself. Instead of thinking, “I’m so awkward,” start thinking, “I’m really fun!” You’ll notice the difference in time. [
#7 Talk to someone new every day. It’s hard for shy people to talk to new people. However, if you want to not be shy, you must practice talking to people you don’t know. Even so much as a, “Hello, how are you?” to the cashier at a gas station helps you come out of your shell more.
#8 Ask your friends for help. By now, your friends have probably noticed you’re really shy around new people. I’m willing to bet they’ll help you move past it if you ask. Simply ask them to introduce you to new people. Then help you speak up at get together and outings.
#9 Remind yourself why. When you’re out in public and feel shy, it’s easy to forget why you don’t want to be shy in the first place. Have a constant reminder going through your mind about why you want to become a more outgoing person.
By doing this, you always have something in the back of your mind encouraging you to go outside of your comfort zone and interact with new people.
#10 Think about others, not yourself. Instead of focusing on how you’re feeling when you go out, focus on other people and how they’re doing. Ask people about their lives and what they’re involved in. You start to forget all about how uncomfortable you feel. It’s also a great way to get to know people on a deeper level.