Sometimes, this is, quite simply, something that can’t be helped. Physiological issues with erectile dysfunction are common enough among men in general, and need the attention of a specialist. However, what is even more frustrating for them is when it’s actually down to the technique of the woman in question. Even the most beautiful females can get it wrong in the bedroom department, and this can lead to erection disaster.
#1 under pressure. The amount of pressure a woman applies to the male genitalia during fore or after play is extremely important. Too much pressure and you throttle the life out of it, sending it surely and swiftly on its way towards flaccidity.
However, the opposite can often be said to be true also, with too little pressure having a similar effect, desensitizing the penis to the point of numbness and encouraging low blood flow – basically like giving it a massage.
Your best bet, if unsure, is to alternate the amount of pressure applied, in order to keep the man’s awareness of your ministrations.
#2 talking it through. Talking through a fantasy whilst making love is a common method that couples use to spice things up in the bedroom. However, make sure you have mentioned your fantasy to the guy before you get it on, in order to ensure that he’s up for it.
Launching into a lust-fuelled diatribe mid-act about how you want to spank him with a dead parrot is unlikely to solicit anything but a swift escape and a change of phone number!]
#3 changing gear. Whether he has a favorite sexual position or not, sticking to the one method of making love will eventually become quite boring for the man involved, and that may bore him into an advanced state of floppiness. However, the opposite can also be true.
If, in a desperate attempt to make things seem more exciting, you manage to make your way through the entire Karma Sutra in five and a half minutes, then you may just tire him out and possibly also exclude him from any emotional attachment. Both may lead to a decline in erectile fortunes!
#4 It’s all about him. Well, “It shouldn’t be.” is the short reply to this one. If you’re not in the mood, but you magnanimously decide to let him have his way, your benevolence may just backfire on you. There are many cues and keys that men and women both need during sex to enjoy it fully: scent, sight, sound, etc.
If any of these are missing, he may subconsciously pick up on the fact that you’re just doing it for him, and his Coast Redwood will turn swiftly into a Weeping Willow. If you’re not in the mood, then work out some way to get in the mood, or give it a miss until another time.
#5 Bottoms up! There’s a lot of stuff out there written on blogs and magazines encouraging men to embrace a new sexual world – new positions, new roles, new toys, etc. One such area is that of anal stimulation. Yes, it is a very sensitive area *heehaw*, and more and more couples are opening up to the idea of mutual anal play.
However, do be aware that many men are still very traditional when it comes to bedroom pursuits, and lunging towards them with a sex toy the size of a telegraph pole is about as effective a way of helping them maintain an erection as would a hastily thrown bucket of ice-cold water.
You may want to go in slowly and gradually on this one, if at all, and try to be sensitive to how open they seem to taking it any further.
#6 I’ll blow your house down. Blow jobs: a man’s best friend and a girl’s best weapon. However, there are ladies out there, and this is true, who think that when you give a blow job, you actually do blow.
I hate to break it to those sorry souls, but the term is a very misleading one, and should really be called a suck job. A man’s penis is no way similar to a balloon, and it inflates because of an increased localized blood flow – not because you’re keeping it up with clumsily administered huffs and puffs!
#7 All tied up. BDSM, standing for Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism is another sexual pursuit that seems to have made it onto the couple’s common bedroom to-do list. Again though, make sure your partner is up for it before proceedings begin.
Waking up tied to the bed and confronted by a gimp mask-wearing, whip-wielding, leather-clad thing of nightmares is less likely to produce a prompt and reliable erection, than it is a restraining order from the male in question’s lawyer.
#8 Mr. Ed. Kissing is not usually something that men particularly get much sexual satisfaction from, although there are exceptions. But bad kissing is a turn off for men and women both. Nothing is more likely to wilt a formerly rampant erection than the slobbering lips and tongue of a woman who seems to have suddenly turned into a comedy TV horse. Make sure your technique is up to scratch.
#9 Ménage a trios. You may be wondering why this is on the list. Surely a threesome is a major male fantasy and extremely conducive towards helping him reach his own particular heights? Well yes, if the third member is a stunning young thing dressed in stockings, suspenders and heels that could skewer a tiger shark.
However, if the third member HAS a member, then this surprise inclusion may have the unwarranted effect of sending him softer than a marshmallow on a hot summer’s day.
#10 Role plays. Most couples like to indulge in a little role play from time to time: the naughty schoolgirl and the teacher, the speeding motorist and the saucy police woman, the doctor and his patient – you know this kind of thing, I’m sure. Do stick to fairly tried and tested scenarios, however.